Interview with Super Poster

THIS INTERVIEW WAS CONDUCTED BY EVIL PANCAKE WITH SUPER POSTER, LEADER OF CHOCKY PRETZLE LAND

Interviewer: So, Super Poster, I hear you run chocky pretzle land?

Super poster: No!

Interviewer: Well then who does?

Super poster: I do.

Interviewer: But you just said that……….

Super poster: Well I do, Ok.

Interviewer: Ok, well uh, where is chocky pretzle land located?

Super poster: In my tummy.

Interviewer: But how can that be if you live in chocky pretzle land?

Super poster: Well you see, it kind of just is.

Interviewer: Well do you have any goals you would like to achieve as king of this land?

Super poster: I want every body to follow, my religion.

Interviewer: And would you care to explain your religion!

Super poster: You have to let me save you, or you die.

Interviewer: But wouldn’t that mean they’d all die anyway

Super poster: No!

Interviewer: Ok well, there have been some rumours that you are a super hero, but not a very good one, because you just make situations worse.

Super Poster: How do you mean?

Interviewer: Well if someone was drowning, you just push him or her under and help him or her drown.

Super poster breaks down in tears

Super poster: I’m a terrible super hero no wonder everybody who I help dies

I leant over to comfort Super Poster

Interviewer: I’m so glad you’ve come to that realization.

Super poster: How dare you, your supposed to comfort me, not disagree with me……… OFF WITH HIS TOES!

Six Cumquats in business suits marched briskly into the room

Cumquat sergeant: yes of course sire.

The Cumquat leader Walked Purposefully towards me, brandishing a blue leg of lamb

Super Poster: Get him boys!

Interviewer: Please no………. not my toes, anything but that.

Super Poster: And why not?

Interviewer: Because, because you are insane.

Super Poster: Why thank you, but your not going to get off that easily off to the Asylum……………

Interviewer: The Asylum?

Super Poster: The Asylum!

Interviewer: Why the Asylum

Super Poster: Because you are normal.

Interviewer: But that is stupid………

Super Poster: Do not question my authority. TAKE HIM TO THE ASYLUM. Cut off his TOES

At that I was taken away to the most horrifying place I could ever imagine……………………… The Asylum of Chocky Pretzle Land

11/Mar/2002

Today Flying Wok Monkey was released from the asylum proclaimed 'perfectly normal'. Ambidextrous Pineapple however is still being held by the Asylum as her fetish for escaping means she has to stay.

Super Poster was horrified last night to wake up and find his cape gone. This of course was the trademark of Existential Crisis Girl. When questioned this morning all the Girl would say was 'No'.

And in the economy: A low running supply of toilet paper has the people of Chocky Pretzle Land in distress. It has been claimed that several people have been taken to the asylum for shock treatment. Super Poster exclaimed this morning that he would 'fly and get some' as soon as Existential Crisis Girl saw fit to return his cape.

13/Jan/2002

21 days ago the Ambidextrous Pineapple escaped from the Chocky Pretzle Land Asylum for the ninety seventh time this month. the the asylums men not in white coats, had this to say this morning after discovering Ambidextrous' accomplice, Flying Wok Monkey locked in a port-a-potty at midnight last night

"We wouldn't have even known he was in there if it wasn't for the perfumed chewed/regurgitated toilet paper mass floating from beneath the door. We have heard stories that Wok Monkey has been having affairs with the toilet lately, believing him to be Bill Clinton, and often being seen in this particular port-a-potty."

When questioned about his affairs Wok Monkey could only reply "Starving, toilet paper, give me, NOW"

It is confirmed that Wok Monkey and Ambidextrous are being held in high security padded cells with excess supplies of toilet paper. being closely guarded by Super poster himself (not that that is much use seeing as Super poster is also a patient of the Chocky Pretzle Land Asylum.)

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